Boston Marathon 2012: The Vision the Reality

Episode One: The Prelude

Here is the vision I held in my mind's eye, six months ago or 2 weeks ago, when I thought of my upcoming adventure/family vacation in Boston: My husband, daughter and I will fly to Boston, find our reasonably priced, quiet motel in the suburbs, and enjoy a few days for museuming, visiting with family, and beachcombing prior to the race. The weather will be refreshingly cool and crisp with bluebird skies. Nice and tame and boring, except of course for that little Marathon thing.

Oh, and on that count...Racing at sea level for the first time in decades, I will cruise easily to a master's PR. 

...twas not to be...This is how it really goes...

I teach my last class of the day. My husband and daughter are waiting for me in the parking lot. I feel the first wave of excitement rise up in me. We're on our way! We board our plane. It's on time. Good. We settle into our seats as others continue boarding. The plane is almost full at this point. A girl stops in the aisle next to me. Behind her, her father gestures to a flight attendant. "We need to sit together. I've got a very sick kid here. She's got a terrible fever." Oh joy. I pull my sweatshirt over my mouth and nose, like that's going to do any good. They're seated two rows ahead of us. I turn the air vents on full, and direct them to blow their air away from me. Good luck with that.

The flight is uneventful and we eventually make our way to the rental car shack (It's very apparent that I've managed to rent from the sketchy company) to pick up our bright yellowy-orange Chevy Aveo. This car is a total piece of poo - feeling about as solid as a tin can on wheels. We get on the Mass Pike heading west to Westborough where our motel waits.

Lesson number 1: The Mass Pike only takes cash. We never have cash. I know - stupid - but there you have it. All we can think is: Who the heck still uses little pieces of paper money? Well, they use it in Massachusetts!

Our motel is fine - quiet, functional, clean, nothing exciting - just fine which is just fine with me. Phew. The next morning I get up, having slept better than I have in weeks,  check my email and click on one from the Boston Athletic Association (B.A.A.): 

BOSTON MARATHON - WEATHER UPDATE

"Marathon Monday in New England can offer a variety of weather conditions, and from what we can see, this Monday will be no different.

The forecast for April 16th is calling for higher than normal temperatures on the course..."

Nooooooo! This is NOT what I want to see, and I immediately feel an irritable, testy, sour mood engulf me. Grrrrrr.

The emails from the BAA come fast and furious over the next few days as I try to put my worries aside and enjoy my experience in Boston. We go to the Expo. It's an epic traffic snarl getting to the Seaport World Trade Center - seemingly requiring out-of-towners to navigate the greatest possible number of miles through the circuitous cow paths Bostonians call 'roads'. When I make it to the appropriate table to collect my bib, the nice volunteer looks at me and asks, "Is this your first Boston?". "Yes" I reply. "I'm sorry." she says. We did not have to utter the obvious.

Not exactly looking ecstatic

My husband, daughter, and I then venture out to Nantasket Beach, just south of Boston, out on a peninsula. On the water it is cold and windy. My daughter runs on the beach and in the water, collecting shells and sea glass, and has her first soft serve ice cream cone (Yes, she is a deprived child;). This is a high point of the trip.

Sophia and me walking to the water's edge to return a dead crab to the sea

That night the email from the BAA is even more dire:

BOSTON MARATHON UPDATE

Due to warm weather in Monday's forecast, a deferment option has been introduced. 

Due to the unusually warm weather forecast for the Boston area on Monday, the B.A.A. will defer the entry of those official entrants to the 2013 Boston Marathon for participants who decide not to race.

Okay, I think, I don't want this option right now. This is the first time, in the race's 116 year history, that a deferment option has been offered. Super. I get to run it in a precedent setting year. I think about the perfect weather conditions last year - I want to cry. I am so tempted to defer. I do cry...

Friends and family try to comfort me: Just think, you can say you survived Boston 2012....it will certainly make for a memorable experience...think of the stories you'll have...

But first, I have to survive it. I have to get through it.

I decide that night that I will not defer. I cannot. I will not be able to live with myself if I do. I am resolved to the situation. And, I've already bought the jacket. I just don't want to send back the jacket...

But I'm not at all happy about any of it. For this I trained through injury, a concussion, the flu, and a heinously windy winter! I feel ripped off and doomed.

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Sunday: And the emails grow ever more ominous:

Update to Entrants in Tomorrow's Boston Marathon

Sunday, April 15, 2012 as of 4:30 p.m.

Running any marathon involves risks

• The weather conditions that we will be seeing on Monday, April 16 will involve even more risk.  It will involve an increased element of risk to all participants due to the heat.  Only the fittest runners should consider participating...
• Everyone who does choose to participate should strongly consider running significantly more slowly that they normally would plan to run a marathon [one to two minutes per mile slower than your planned for pace].  We have extended the opening of our finish line in support of this recommendation.
• For the overwhelming majority of those who have entered to participate in the 2012 Boston Marathon, you should adopt the attitude that THIS IS NOT A RACE. It is an experience.
   

And so the weekend goes. Sunday we have a pleasant and mellow visit with family in Charlestown: Aunt's and uncles and cousins and Grandma and Grandpa. At first I'm feeling irratated at the thought of having to socialize when I'm in such a foul mood. But good food and good company distract me from my obsessive preoccupation with the sufferfest soon to follow.

Lesson #2: Distraction is sometimes a good thing. 

We return to the motel, I eat my pre-race dinner of rice and veggies - lots of salt and water - we watch a movie, always a kid's movie - tonight the selection is "Lilo and Stitch".

I pack my bag, and we turn in. I never sleep much the night before a marathon, but tonight I sleep better than usual. I think I've resolved myself to what is to come, though I'm not happy about it. I'm nervous about what's to come. I'm not acclimated, at all, to hot weather. I've been training though a cold and windy Colorado winter. How will my body respond? Will I cramp up, forced to hobble to the finish, or worse, never make it to that far? I will just have to wait to see how it all unfolds.

Lesson #3: Worrying will not make the weather change for the better. Just deal...

My alarm is set for 7 a.m. I will probably be up before it goes off.

To be continued...

Fear and Loathing in Boston

Forecast for Boston, MA.

NWS Taunton, MA  Point Forecast: Boston MA  42.36°N 71.07°W

Mobile Weather Information | En Español Last Update: 7:17 am EDT Apr 14, 2012 Forecast Valid: 9am EDT Apr 14, 2012-6pm EDT Apr 20, 2012

Today Sunny Hi 72 °F

Tonight Chance Showers Lo 53 °F

Sunday Slight Chc Showers Hi 75 °F

Sunday Night Slight Chc Tstms Lo 60 °F

Monday Mostly Sunny Hi 88 °F

Monday Night Slight Chc Showers Lo 59 °F

Tuesday Mostly Sunny Hi 80 °F

Tuesday Night Partly Cloudy Lo 49 °F

Wednesday Mostly Sunny Hi 65 °F

I must admit, I am depressed, disheartened, disheveled...I can't think clearly any longer. And yet it seems in bad taste to whine. It seems that I should just be thankful I'm here, 'running' the Boston Marathon, but I'm not. I want to go home and pretend this didn't happen.

I keep thinking back to last year's race, with cold temps and a steady tailwind, and I want to scream to the heavens "NOT FAIR!!!". 

But we've got what we've got and unfortunately there's not much that can be done. All my worries about my training were for naught. At this point the aim is to finish, and all time goals are blown away with the blast furnace wind that we will be running in for 26.2 miles.

I can't help but flash back to the Boulder Marathon, 2009. The temperatures that year were in the mid-80s and I had one of the worst races of my life - not just because my time sucked, but because it was just really really really unpleasant. I swore, many times over, during the last 3 miles of cramped up hobbling, that I would never ever ever ever run another marathon.

I am trying to look on the bright side of things, but it's hard.

Please, Weather Gods, please - we need a weather miracle here!

Looking For Signs of Providence

"Providence has nothing good or high in store for one who does not resolutely aim at something high or good. A purpose is the eternal condition of success" - Thornton Wilder

Runners can sometimes get caught up in the numbers of things: miles per week, miles per year, pace per mile...miles to go. And on and on...

Runners can also get caught up with concerns about luck, good and bad. I wrote about this in past posts (What's Luck Got To Do With It? ), and signs of good or bad luck.

This year marks 40 years of running for me and I begin my celebration of that anniversary next Monday, April 16th, 2012, in Boston - and that seems fitting.

Now I say that I've been a runner for 40 years, and I have seen myself as a runner for 40 years, but in all honesty, consistency and chronic obsession didn't really kick in until I was about 23. That was the year I ran my first "road race". It was a the "Skunk Cabbage Classic" in Ithaca, New York - Today it's a half marathon - but back then it was either a 5 miler or a 10k. How sad...I can't remember, and many many years ago my award - a wooden plaque with a medallion of a skunk cabbage stamped into it - was hastily thrown in the trash. There went that little bit of history. But I do remember that I ran it in April 1987 - 25 years ago. That race got me hooked on road racing... for a while. 

So there are all these numbers floating around in my head, and I wonder if in those numbers some sign of Providence might be gleaned. Generally I'm not a numbers person, but something seems to be coming together here.

Okay, so here are the numbers: 40 years of running, 25 years since I ran my first road race at the age of 23 - and here's the clincher: my bib# for Boston is 19661, which adds up to 23, the age at which this whole thing really got rolling.

Coincidence??? I don't think so!

And then, as I am typing this, literally as I am thinking these thoughts, several very important people in my life made contact with me - email, messages, etc...all at the same time! All at the very moment I was thinking these things! And so I think to myself - YES, this IS a sign.

Jean-Paul Sartre argued that we look for signs to answer our questions, to calm our insecurities, and we see the signs we want to see, and look for the signs that support what we feel in our hearts but are unwilling to acknowledge. But how we decipher the signs is entirely our responsibility - our creation. If I am looking for signs of good luck, of providence, I will give meaning and draw the conclusions I already believe in.   

Sartre thinks this is a bad thing, a way we avoid taking responsibility for our feeling and choices. I say 'Piffle". William James argued that we create truth by believing something and thus acting on that belief, hence, creating the truth of that belief through those very actions.

So I'm gonna keep looking for those good signs, and I will choose to ignore the others, all the while aiming to keep my sights high and good and purposeful.

Sweating the Details...The Final Countdown Begins

This is me "On Boston" (it's like a drug):

 

I have spent two solid days (thus far) making and canceling motel reservations - really and seriously. I have probably made, and canceled, at least 10 at this point!

The original plan was to stay with my sister-in-law and family. This sounded like a great idea back in September, 2011. But now it's April 8th, 2012, 8 days from the Boston Marathon and the thought of seven of us (4 adults and 3 children) in a small apartment in Boston is starting to making me nervous. I wonder:  How can I commandeer the kitchen? How will I get ANY sleep? Will anyone and everyone expect me to be sociable??... Because I won't be, as much as I wish to believe otherwise, I won't! This is going to be a stressfest!

I gotta chill...I gotta get a grip...I gotta learn to roll with things. I gotta get my Tao on: Go with the flow, ride with the tide...become like soft and peaceful water that shapes stone and carves canyons from the hard earth...Gaaaa...

So, I say to myself, is it worth it to just suck it up and get a room somewhere outside the city? We're already planning on having a car (gotta take our Colorado kid to the ocean at least once on this trip). So I start investigating the options.

After hours of searching I Find the perfect place in Framingham - reasonably priced with a kitchen (gotta have it because I am a picky eater before a marathon!). I reserve it online - the pictures look decent (clean and bright but no bells-and-whistles) - the location is cool - it's a mile from where the race goes so my husband has no excuse for not finding me. Right? And then I do some more investigation - I start reading review: tripadvisor, Expedia, Booking.com...etc... And, the place is basically a crack-house. Reviews complaining about "blood stains on the walls", "bed bugs" and "stained sheets" are so totally deal killers. I'm fine with spare and simple and no frills - but not bodily fluids - yeah, not going there.

So, I find a decent, not too overpriced place about 10 miles from the start. The reviews are generally good. I feel a little better.


Now there's the issue of getting to the start. Do I take the T into Boston and then jump on a BAA bus back out to Hopkinton? Or, do I get my husband to drive me to the Hopkinton State Park, drop me off since all the roads are closed at 7:30, hop a shuttle which drops me some distance (I know not what) from the Athlete's Village? And then there's the 0.7 mi walk to the start corals. Yeeha.

I'm sure one option will make more sense once I get there and have a chance to talk with others about it all. It's hard for me to relax about things like this. Having imposed some order, real or imagined, has helped. But it's hard to separate the logistical stresses from the running stresses. I think this is why I usually avoid big races. Well, I guess this is a good warmup for New York in November!...

Now I must focus my energies on the following:

This is me in one week and a day!

 Athlete's Village

This is what I'll be thinking about while stretching, pacing, hopping from foot to foot, eating marathon bars, drinking water et al, peeing, peeing some more, and then peeing again...for hours on end, champing at the bit, itching to move, let's go go go...:

And then...I hope...to make it here because, after all, I do want wear that bright orange jacket.

To be continued...

My Dean Karnazes Moment At Target

In his book, Run!, Dean Karnazes tells a story of stumbling upon a liquor store out in the middle of nowhere, on the edge of even more nowhere, and about a curious, hard to read liquor store clerk. In search of running fuel, not booze, Karnazes manages to scare up a few stale energy bars, some almonds and a bottle of Pedialyte. It's the wee hours of the morning and darker than dark outside. The clerk finds himself faced with this strange looking character who seemingly appeared out of nowhere, while Karnazes finds himself given the once-over by the suspicious clerk.  Strange strangers in a strange land. The clerk asks him, "Are you one of those marathon people?" Karnazes concedes that, "Ah...yes...I guess you could say that". The clerk says " I used to run when I was a boy. I want to start again...I'm going to start again...I'm going to start tomorrow morning."  With each declaration, the clerks enthusiasm appears grows more adamant...

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It's latish on a Monday night. Yoga is canceled so I take advantage of the time, sans child, to do some Easter shopping. Target in surprisingly quiet and peaceful. I pile up all the goodies - you know, chocolate eggs, jelly beans, Cadbury mini-creame and caramel eggs - Wooza - Oh, and Peeps (of course), the yellows (for tradition's sake) and chocolate - onto the rolling conveyer belt. As the cashier absently pushes my value pack of Disney Fairies across the scanner. He looks at me hard, hesitates, and says, "You run?". At first I'm taken aback - Yeah, I think, this is where my life has led. A middle-aged mom buying Easter candy late on a Monday night...what could be more obvious then that I run!?

Then I look down to see what I'm wearing (in the same way I sometimes look to check if I'm actually wearing shorts when I'm out running) that might give me away. I'm wearing my "I Run" sweatshirt. Well, duh...and... too bad. I was hoping that somehow it was just obvious, that I just looked like a runner -  from my physique, my aura, my general presence - but no. Runners do like to identify themselves to other potential members of the tribe, but alas, I was being obvious even to the uninitiated.

"Well, Yes. I run." glancing at the words on my chest to suggest the obvious answer to his question.
"How much?" he continues.
"Umm, a lot", I respond. I'm not really inviting further inquiry, though in most situations if you ask me about running you'll find that you've gotten yourself caught in a lengthy conversation. Try to escape and I may grab you by the ear. After all, I want everyone, everywhere to run. I'm positively evangelical when it comes to running.
"Like How far?", he fires back. He is very clearly determined to get some information out of me.
"Well, I run marathons." What else can I say.
"Wow. I'm gonna start running" he says enthusiastically, gazing off at nothing in particular. "I really want to start running."

At this point he's bobbing up and down behind the checkout counter, his gaze returns to me, his eyes seem to dart about without ever leaving my face.

"What do you eat?" he immediately asks "You know, before and after."
"Before and after what?" I'm clueless, and the harried, exhausted looking woman behind me, piling up Easter candy and underpants on the rolling conveyer belt, stares at me impatiently.
"Well, what do you eat before and after you run a lot?" he asks.

I try to explain that different people like to eat different things and that it takes some time to figure out what works best for you. I offer some general guidelines...but...

"No, no, no, no. What do YOU eat?" He's emphatic. He won't let this go. "I've heard about cucumber-celery juice - Yeah, I'm gonna run tomorrow. I really want to start running. Yeah, what about juice? You drink juice?" he continues without taking a breath between thoughts. He's not nuts, he's excited. There's a clear qualitative difference between the two states of mind.
"Well, I haven't heard about that, but sure, why not" I respond, distantly, as I sign the credit card receipt. I wish him well, and say, "You can do it if you really want to".

"Tomorrow" he says, practically grabbing me by the arm as I turn to leave. "Tomorrow I'm going to start running. I really am"...and we part ways.

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"Methinks that the moment my legs began to move, my thoughts began to flow."- Henry David Thoreau

So maybe I'll go back to Target, next Monday night. Perhaps I'll go check in, see if he started running yet.

It's spring, the season of new beginnings. Lots of non-runners, past-runners, and fair weather runners, decide that this is the time to dig those sneakers out from the back of the closet. Go out, fellow runners, and get someone hooked. Spread the good word. Be the example.

Distracting Ourselves to Death: Running and Music

“One way of looking at the history of the human group is that it has been a continuing struggle against the veneration of "crap.” ― Neil Postman

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Reading through my little "Welcome" pamphlet for the Boston Marathon I was surprised and disappointing to read that iPods and such are permitted during the race.

"Although the B.A.A. discourages the use of iPods and headphones. they are allowed except for those who declare themselves eligible for prize money"

When it comes to opinions concerning running and music, runners tend to fall, devoutly, on one side or the other of the pro/con fence. I'm pretty old school on this, though I try to fight my Luddite tendencies - so I'm in the process of trying to figuring out why I think running with music isn't such a good idea, either for the runner or for the running community.

Yesterday I ran the Boulder Spring Half Marathon. The conditions were fairly harsh - unseasonable hot, dry, and windy. Nonetheless, the race had a large turnout. As I stood a few rows back from the starting line I surveyed the crowd. Many many runners were wired for sound. Interestingly, none of the runners at the very front were. They stood, shaking out their legs, jumping around in place, and talking with those nearest them.

As we took off down the dusty rutted road, it seemed that at least 50%-75% of the runners were rockin' to their own personal beat. Many had the volume cranked so loud that I could easily hear their music. At one point I went past a pair of women running together. One held a phone with music playing at full volume so that both could enjoy the tunes - No ear-buds/headphones in sight. Okay. That's not okay! Why am I so cranky about this? Well, because I don't want to listen to your music. Period.

So here are some of my personal, biased, completely unscientific and unsupported thoughts concerning this fairly new development in running and racing.

1) I think this newish trend is bad for the running community. It seems that during races we are no longer running together. Rather, we are off in our own little worlds in the sense that it doesn't really matter if anyone else is there or not. I don't think that's good for the running community. Can you really have a "community" of isolated individuals. I've been running for long enough to notice that this has changed the feel of races. I can't put my finger on it, exactly, but I'm working on it.

What do you think?

2) It can be dangerous - and that's up to you if it's only dangerous for you. I subscribe to the view (convincingly argued by John Start Mill in "On Liberty") that we should be allowed to do stupid things if the only person at risk is one's self, but when your decisions effect me (or more generally, anyone else), that changes the situation. I have had numerous experience where plugged-in runners cut me off. Once, during a race, I was pushed off a bike path and nearly plunged into the Platte River in Denver (an icy, January Platte River) by a runner who passed me and then moved over too soon. He couldn't hear me. I enjoyed great satisfaction in passing him and leaving him in the dust at mile 9. Can you really blame me?

What do you think?.

3) Music while running distracts you from many of the thoughts that might present themselves in the absence of music. I'm not saying that music negates thinking, it doesn't - I'm saying that music, to some degree creates a mood that directs thinking in particular directions. We are constantly multitasking, sometimes out of necessity, but also perhaps in an attempt to avoid thinking too much. Many of us are unable to spend long periods of time with ourselves, alone and quiet. We look for distractions and they are everywhere.

What do you think?

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“Technology always has unforeseen consequences, and it is not always clear, at the beginning, who or what will win, and who or what will lose...” ― Neil Postman 

So the question is: Why are so many runners so attached to their iPods? They often respond to challenge as though they will fight to the death for their right to wear their iPods. On many running forums I've heard runners claim that they will not run races that prohibit iPods and some go so far as to claim that they simply "can't" run without one. They would quit running if they were denied their beloved iPod.

That kind of fanatical, somewhat desperate, attachment (addiction?) seems to indicate a problem, if you ask me.

All this said, today I bought an iPod Shuffle. Am I drinking the Kool aid? Am I taking the "blue pill"? Am I just being a hypocrite? - I say 'No'!

Technology is neither good nor bad - it's how we use it that matters, to us as individuals and as a community. I bought it primarily for hanging out in the Athlete's Village for 2+ hours before the start of the Boston Marathon. No, I won't be tuning out the whole time, because I want to meet people and talk to people. But when I start warming up, alone, I may enjoy this technology as away to tune out the masses and the energy around me, just a bit. There is something to getting jazzed up to music you enjoy prior to a race, and I'm always blasting my car stereo when I drive to races (assuming I'm alone;).

Will I ever run with it? I don't think so because I enjoy running alone and quiet, even when the world around me isn't. I will NEVER race with one. I believe that one aspect of racing is the community coming together, and that can't happen when everyone's in their own worlds. Be honest - when you're plugged in there is a degree to which you are removed from those around you.

Has this distraction gone too far? What do you think?

“When a population becomes distracted by trivia, when cultural life is redefined as a perpetual round of entertainments, when serious public conversation becomes a form of baby-talk, when, in short, a people become an audience, and their public business a vaudeville act, then a nation finds itself at risk; culture-death is a clear possibility.” ― Neil Postman 

Boston Marathon 2012: 40th Anniversary For Woman Runners

On April 16th, 2012, the women who ran the Boston Marathon in 1972, the first year women were granted official entry into the race, will be firing the starter's gun in Hopkinton. These women - courageous trailblazers for all women runners and athletes - are often referred to as the "class of 1972".  The women who ran that year were required to meet the same qualifying standards as the men (3:30) - but at last, through persuasive argument and dogged determination, they convinced the powers-that-be to do the right thing.

Nina Kuscsik (below) won that inaugural women's race in 3:10:26. Impressive!

The battle to permit women's official entry in the Boston Marathon began several years earlier, when in 1967 Kathrine Switzer, registered as "K.V." Switzer, was attacked by Jock Semple after he discovered a "girl" was running the race. For an nice account of this see: http://deadspin.com/5896964/45-years-ago-an-enraged-boston-marathon-race-director-attacked-a-female-runner.

In past posts I've written about how I believe that this left a black mark on running's character and history, and that this needed to be addressed ( For the Sake of Our Daughters). Last year 43% of Boston finishers were women. Women now make up the majority of entrants at most road races, from 5k-marathon distances. And in Ultra distance races, the percentage of women who finish (out of the number who begin) is higher than the percentage of men who finish, though at this point more men still run ultras.

A lot has changed in 40 years. And I feel honored to run this race, this year, on this anniversary which means so much to me. And when the Wellesley women usher me through the "scream tunnel" at the 20k mark, I will have goose bumps as they will send me on my way for the second 20+k ;)

And I will be mindful that I too am running for my daughter.